My sister just texted me that she accidentally saw a semi sexual picture of me, huh







peniscruncher:

dusknoirs:

who was the asshole that decided tattoos looked unprofessional 

the generation that did is dying out so don’t worry



staygrandbeiconic:

LEGIT THE BEST POST I HAVE EVER SEEN.

I literally just reblogged this two times in a row. No fucks given. This is the greatest post on tumblr.



5 things that make me happy

I been tagged by the very lovely sifterheart, here we go
1- I love to cook while I listen to very loud music
2-I like to drive (Can’t drive stick shift but well)
3-I like it a lot to borrow my sweater when someone else is cold, even if I’m cold too (I like it to be returned too)
4-There’s like, an infinite happiness for me when my 6 year old sister and nephew suddenly come to me and tell me they love me (It’s very rare but it’s awesome)
5-I seriously can’t think anything else rn, sorry



watchthisnyc:

Gone but not forgotten 🙏

watchthisnyc:

Gone but not forgotten 🙏



You guys I’m finally moving tomorrow!



bussykiller:

that-dang-hippie:

Remember when Dexter ate a giant burrito and thought he was going to die but it turned out he just had to fart.

haven’t we all been there

bussykiller:

that-dang-hippie:

Remember when Dexter ate a giant burrito and thought he was going to die but it turned out he just had to fart.

haven’t we all been there



tapthatddlovato:

Anna Kendrick everybody  The long lost daughter of god

tapthatddlovato:

Anna Kendrick everybody
The long lost daughter of god



ifwefallonemoretime:

theorginalmiddlechild:

helenas-hood:

Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”

Soda just spewed out my nose

THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST



peenslayer:

drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk. 





  • KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
  • MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!


dad-official:

I would say you need Jesus but I don’t want him anywhere near you